5 step to life long success, the Montessori way

Behind all the Montessori materials and beautiful trays,

there's a fundamental Montessori philosophy at work.

If you read through below,

I promise it will change the way you see success,

and how you help children succeed.

Here’s the principle: success breeds success.

By the way the opposite of that is: learnt helplessness.

Behavioural research shows that small wins build confidence and create momentum.

It's woven into the very fabric of Montessori method.

From an AMI trained Montessori teacher who worked in some most beautiful Montessori classrooms in London,

here are 5 ways Montessori classroom builds success,

and how you can use them at home too.

1) EXPERIENCE success

Like anything, you learn from experience.

Experiencing success leads to the belief "I can succeed".

Traditional education is great in many ways, but the exam system unfortunately focus you on the 'failures'.

How Montessori classroom does it:

• Child sized tools to maximize chance of success
• Present work with just the right challenge (based on observation)
• Divide task into infinitesimal steps: did you know we present how to carry a chair, and how to squeeze a sponge?

Adopting at home:

• Retune your brain, start to see opportunities to create small success
• e.g. instead of putting on the whole shoe, give them one step of success "can you close the velcro?"
• e.g. "I will wipe the spill here - can you wipe there?"
• Small success builds the mindset 'I can do it!' 'I can be successful' - overtime, this small belief compounds.

2) INCLUDE FAILURE

Yes you read that right.

People all look for success, but his twin "failure" knows the way there.

If adults take over and correct whenever mistakes happen,

children learn "I can't do it" - this is how learnt helplessness develop.

In Montessori classroom

• you don't think 'failure', you just see them as a challenge.
• In training we were told - if a child can do what you present to them right away, then it's presented too late.
• In other words, children are invited to "fail"
• When children make mistakes, adults does not correct or even pay attention on the surface (unless it's dangerous or disruptive), but only make mental notes
• Often, after trial and error, children succeed - and the pride and triumph is priceless!
• If they struggle after a long time, adults may present again, paying special attention to the part that child struggles with

Adopting it at home:

• Give freedom of failure (but take mental notes)
• Bind your hands, seal your lips and don't correct on the spot - they won't learn the wrong way, they are just finding their way to the right way!
• Give just a little help on what they struggle with (if possible, later at a neutral time, so children don't feel corrected), don't take over and squander their whole effort

3) PREPARE for success

Success doesn't happen randomly. You prepare for it.

Small obstacles add up and thwart children's effort. Over time, this develops to "learnt helplessness" - why do I bother?

In Montessori classroom

• Learning happens in a triangle between adults, children and prepared environment.
• For example, a spark of activity is often put out when children can't find the right tool
• When children know exactly where the mop is, and it always live there, children have a much higher chance of springing to action with spills
• All the materials are right sized, and tested to work - scissors that are small but cut well, jugs that pour easily

Adopting it at home:

• Prepare the environment / tools, so child has MAXIMUM CHANCE OF SUCCESS
• I sometimes pretend I'm a cafe owner, and think through what customers might need, and put them in logical, easy to reach places. Do you enjoy being able to find napkin easily without having to ask someone? That's what we are preparing for the child.
• Say "i love you" by finding them tools that work, and are of their size: check out our favourite scissors for toddlers and 3-6 - we believe every child deserve a pair
• Keep the environment as orderly and consistent as possible
  

4) ALLOW SUCCESS TO MULTIPLY

When child managed to put the pink tower up, do you clap and rejoice?

Yes, maybe in your head. But don't disturb the child. Why?

Because, SUCCESS likes to BREED, if you don't disturb it!

In Montessori classrooms

• We don't disturb children when they succeed
• This allows children REPEAT the success - they become better through repetition (and more failure!)
• Every time child repeats, they "learn" more
• They also learn - "success is not one end point, it is a step towards more success"

Adopting it at home:

• Leave success alone as well
• Don't let premature celebration disturb the "success breeding" process.
• Allow repetition - your child is not wasting his time if he pours water for 20 minutes - he's incarnating exactly what he needs, directed by his inner guide.
  

5) REWARD SUCCESS WITH MORE SUCCESS

When you 'succeeded' and mastered, after a short rest,

you naturally think "what's next".

DON'T make success a terminal, a plaque on the wall.

Instead, your effort has rewarded you with the power to go further.

In Montessori classrooms

• When children succeeded in building pink tower, we don't say / think / convey 'you are done with this, move on'
• Instead, we show what fantastic things their success allow them to do
• We offer new challenge - "can you place blocks in another room and bring the right blocks here?" "Can you align the tower in the corner?"
• We celebrate success by what they are now able to do (that they couldn't previously)

Adopting it at home:

• Instead of saying "well done", celebrate success with what children are empowered to do now
• e.g. if children are learning to write, maybe they can make a shopping list
• e.g. if children have mastered straight line sewing, show them how to embroider
• External rewards become unnecessary when children are allowed to experience the natural reward from their efforts

So here's you go.

This might be a lot, but it's literally heart and soul of Montessori method.

Remember this applies to the adults too.

Start with one small change, and let it compound.

Reply to tell me what you did, and what happened?